Seeing my tattoo, you would think it was just about my love for the beach, but it’s so much more than that! So grab a cup of coffee and let me explain. I’m currently sipping on mine while I write this.
Yes, I do LOVE palm trees and the beach SO much! That made this tattoo an easy choice for me, but it symbolizes more than just my tropical happy place. If you were to take some time to study palm trees and their meanings, you would probably fall in love with them, too.
When I met Dawson, the enemy did not like that. He knew God had big plans for the two of us and was willing to attack any area of our lives he could to stop what was happening. No surprise to me that he chose to attack me how he did. Shortly after I met Dawson in July of 2020, my battle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts began with FURY. I guess you could consider this post a part of my testimony. Maybe one day I will work up the courage and words to tell the rest. Anyways, the emotions, thoughts, and mental place I was in for a lot of our dating experience was not good. I remember being on a trip to Chattanooga and looking over the Walnut Street Bridge ready to jump. I remember sitting in my car alone, crying, self-harming, and going into pure panic and inability to breathe. I remember countless times thinking I could just drive my car off a bridge or over the side of the road and it would all be better. This season of darkness seemed like it would never end unless I took action and ended my life. It was ROUGH!
Ladies, get you a man like Dawson! He was- and still is- so patient and loving with me during my darkest moments. He held me while I cried, listened to my chaos, held my hand so I wouldn’t jump from impulse, and he prayed for and with me. He constantly loved me and pursued me despite my dark season and mental state. I began counseling in December of 2020 and still go from time-to-time. Along with that, I confided in Dawson, my mom, my sister, and my nanny to help guide me through this terrible season. I am so blessed to have the family that I do. They showed me unconditional love and support and pushed me to seek and trust God even in the midst of the crazy.
Leaning into God and His Word, I made it to July 2, 2021. The day I got my palm tree tattoo. From the summer of 2020 to this date, I had seen so much growth in myself and how I was able to manage the dark thoughts. For me, this tattoo is a symbol of victory over my many battles with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Palm trees have been known to withstand hurricane winds reaching over 100 mph. In the rough of the storm, they bend but don’t break. In the Bible, we see the palm branches used to symbolize triumph and victory over death as they welcome Jesus Christ the Savior into the city.
They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting,
“Hosanna!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Blessed is the king of Israel!”
John 12:13 (NIV)
In Judges 4, Deborah sat under a palm tree and received her technique for defeating the enemy. And in Revelation 7:9,
“After this I looked, and behold, right in front of me I saw a vast multitude of people—an enormous multitude so huge that no one could count—made up of victorious ones from every nation, tribe, people group, and language. They were all in glistening white robes, standing before the throne and before the Lamb with palm branches in their hands.” (TPT)
Now, I have a visual reminder that I can easily look to that tells me in the end I have victory over my battles. That despite the storm I am in, I have a God who is greater and says that I am going to be okay. And how much more of a testament to the goodness of God and truth behind this tattoo is the picture you see of my little girl’s tiny hands wrapped around my wrist?! That with God and my support team, I have overcome battle after battle with the enemy and am here today being a wife, mom, daughter, and so much more!
You are not alone! Look to the Creator for comfort. Find your people to confide in. Connect with others. Reach out to me! You’ve got this! And maybe you need a palm tree tattoo, too!
Loved that it was encouraging. I use to go to Church with your Nanny and Papaw in Kentucky
I loved hearing your testimony. The enemy wants us to be bound up so that we can not hear God. There is something wonderful that God is doing in your and Dawsons life and the devil knows he must try to hinder and stop you. BUT GOD!!!
He is so wonderful to lead us to the people who he knows will help lead and carry us through when we need it. I have also heard the story where the Redwood tree roots will run deep and reach out to each other. For when the storms come they may blow and sway but they hold on to each other so they may not fall. What a revelation for That’s what we must do for each other. We don’t criticize we just help them stand and encourage. We love you all and are so proud of you both!
Mahla,
Wow! I had no idea that you battled with these things! As I think you know I too have been through and overcome a similar battle! What a testimony you have! The way God lead you to put this in words and share with the meaning of your tattoo! I was in tears reading and felt God’s presence with me while reading! I’m proud of you! The woman of God you are! The wife and mom you are! Most of all for staying here with us and allow your testimony to touch so many other people!