This post is especially for the new moms and expectant mothers; however, I really think spouses, family, and friends of those mommas should also be aware of just a tidbit of what can go on emotionally during the first 6-weeks postpartum and how to help.
I chose to focus on the first 6 weeks after delivery because SO much is going on mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually during that time. Both internally and within our homes. It really is an amazing and wonderful but challenging and change-filled time.
Before I was even pregnant and during the entire pregnancy, I had heard “postpartum depression” or “postpartum hormones” many times. But I never really grasped the severity and intensity of it until I experienced it myself.
My labor and delivery experience was great. The hospital staff was AWESOME and so helpful! I’ll have to share that adventure in a later post. Before we were discharged to bring our little girl home, the nurses gave us tons of resources and information on caring for a baby. They also warned us about the risk of insane hormonal highs and lows within the next few weeks. They stressed the importance of always keying in Dawson and another family member (for me, my mom) of my emotions and thoughts, even if they felt insignificant.
Emotionally, week one… TERRIBLE! Here’s why:
My mom is absolutely the best and stayed in the hospital with us during the entire process. She even slept, or attempted to I should say, on those lovely recliners stuck in the corner of the hospital room. When we were sent home, she also stayed for a couple nights at our house to help us adjust, take care of dinners and the fur babies, and be our support any way she could. So, as you can imagine, the first night without her was not great for me. I felt guilty because we had taken so much of her time away from dad and her home, but I cried SO much when she wasn’t with me. If you haven’t figured it out by now, my mom is my person.
I quickly started noticing a trend in my hormones. During the daytime I would do okay emotionally and mentally. It was always around supper time that I started feeling lonely, sad, lost, depressed, etc. I have actually seen this referred to as the “sunset scaries”. It was especially bad when Mom wasn’t here. During those weeks, I really subconsciously was trying to find a way that we could live with my parents now. And if Dawson had to leave to run an errand, that sent me into a panic attack of sorts. Even if there were other people with me, I did not want him to leave me. He is also my person… DUH!
If I had even a second of free time when Oakley was napping, I had no interest in doing any of the things I enjoyed prior to her birth. I felt almost sick at the thought of watching movies, playing videogames with Dawson, reading, anything I usually enjoy! I found myself always going to take showers the second I started feeling down and depressed and then just sulking until it was time to sleep in anticipation of a new morning.
So, how did I manage postpartum hormones?
My hormones and emotions were all over the place for about 3 weeks. After those seemingly long weeks, I started my uphill climb out of the emotional roller coaster. I am going to share what seemed to comfort and help me most during those crazy times. I will also give a little nugget of advice to spouses, family, friends, and support teams of moms or expectant mothers.
1. Daily Walks Outside
No, I do not mean go walk 5 miles after just giving birth. There were a lot of days that just walking from the bedroom to the couch felt tiring. But one thing that helped me tremendously when I was feeling emotionally blah was getting outside and moving! On good days, I was able to walk our street for about 15 minutes or so. Other days, I just simply walked from the front yard to the back yard or to the mailbox. Anything helped! If able, bring little one with you and have your support person tag along. Everyone can benefit from fresh air and sunshine! Honestly, even now, we do a “family walk” before winding down for bed. We go out the front door, walk around to the back, stand and talk for a few minutes, and then head back inside. To someone reading that or watching us, it probably seems pretty pointless, but it is one of my favorite things! And Oakley LOVES the fresh air before bed.
Support person: If she hasn’t initiated a walk or mentioned it, offer to join her or offer to watch the baby so she can get some fresh air.
2. Shower
I know sometimes it can be hard to get away from baby long enough to shower, but if you can, I highly recommend. I always felt more relaxed, refreshed, and calm after a nice, hot shower.
Support person: Sometimes our mom brains get crazy. Remind us that it is okay to take time for ourselves.
3. Prayer Journaling
If you have seen my post “3 Quiet Time Essentials“, you have read about my love for writing prayers and why I do it. During those first few weeks home with your new baby, the day can easily get away from you before you take any time to pray. I am not saying it happened daily for me, but when I was on the verge of a meltdown or mid cry session, finding time to write my prayers really helped.
Support person: PRAY PRAY PRAY! Having someone on your side during this crazy time feels comforting but is even better when that person prays for you. Sit down with baby and momma and pray with them. Don’t forget to frequently ask what specifics she needs prayed for today.
4. Inspirational Words
If I haven’t made it clear by now, my mom is the BEST! During my crazy postpartum hormones, she saw and heard my struggles. She gifted me with ringed notecards similar to THESE filled with handwritten scriptures, quotes, prayers, and notes from her and my dad. I still find myself reading through it from time-to-time. It is small enough to fit in pretty much any pocket or bag you might carry. I typically put it in the diaper bag so I know I always have it. I am especially sure to pack it when I am traveling or going to stressful situations/atmospheres.
Support person: Make something thoughtful and filled with encouragement to gift to her during the postpartum season. Don’t just say “good luck”. Put some time and energy into creating something tangible to bring her comfort during stress, meltdowns, and emotional lows.
5. Facetime
What did the world do before facetime?! The postpartum season can be an easy time for moms to step into social isolation and loneliness. When able, I would facetime family. Not just a phone call but so I could see their face too. It made me feel more connected and less lonely. I recommend utilizing those cell phones to stay in touch with others during this season.
I think it goes without saying that treating myself to a latte from our local coffee shop also helped. I mean, when doesn’t it?!
New moms or expecting moms, you are not alone! I hope this post helps. Let’s connect!
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